Bullying

Bullying is a big problem for lots of children and young people.  It can make you feel miserable, alone and scared.  There are lots of different types of bullying, such as when someone keeps picking on you, calls you names, threatens you, physically hurts you or attacks you because of your religion, gender, sexuality, disability, appearance, ethnicity or race.  Even ignoring you can be a form of bullying.  Bullying can be anything that someone else deliberately does that makes you feel unhappy, different or the odd one out.  Sometimes though, there is no obvious reason at all.

You shouldn’t feel ashamed about being bullied.  It’s not your fault – but it is important that you get help.  No one deserves to be bullied.  Is there someone who you would feel comfortable talking to about what’s going on?  Maybe a friend, someone at your school, someone you live with, your care worker or just someone you trust.  When you have decided who to talk to, tell them what’s happening and how its making you feel.  They might be able to tell you what you can do about it or help you decide what you want to do next.

If you are being bullied at school, ask someone (such as a teacher) to tell you about the school’s guidelines on bullying.  Most schools have a written policy on bullying and this may give you an idea of what you can do and what your school should do.

If you can’t think of someone to talk to, you could call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to speak to an adult who is there to listen and help you think about what you can do. 

If you talk to someone about what’s happening and it doesn’t help, don’t give up.  Sometimes you may need to talk to more than one person.  You have the right to be helped, and don’t have to put up with being bullied.  Always remember that it is not your fault.

Trying to remember things accurately can sometimes be difficult, so keep a record of what happens to you.  Writing it down is often a good way of being sure about what, when and where things happen.

It is important to feel safe.  Are there ways for you to keep yourself out of harm’s way?  For instance, you could walk home with friends rather than on your own, or ask someone to stay with you if you feel threatened.

Teachers, social workers, carers all take bullying very seriously and have a number of ideas about how to help you and how to stop bullies. 

If you see someone else being bullied, don’t ignore what happens.  Let the person who’s being bullied know you’ve seen what’s going on and are concerned.  Encourage them to tell someone.  If it is in school and you are worried about it, you may need to report the incident.  Try to find out who to report bullying to.  If you are worried about putting yourself at risk, can you tell someone about the bullying in confidence?  Write them a note about what you saw.  Teachers and other adults are often the last to know that bullying is going on and they need to know if they are going to help.

If you are bullying someone you do have a choice – just because you’ve bullied others in the past doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it!  People who are bullied can feel upset and scared.  You can put a stop to that by changing your behaviour.  You can get into a lot of trouble if you keep bullying others – you might get suspended or excluded from school or, in extreme cases, the police might get involved.

Sometimes things happen to you that make you more likely to bully others – being bullied yourself, for instance, or having problems at home.  It’s important to get help yourself, rather than take your frustrations out on others.

It is important that everyone that cares for children, and children themselves, keep talking about bullying so that we can try to stamp it out, wherever it happens.